


an ache i still remember

by icymuze, pasty



Series: Oofuri Prompts [2]
Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Multi, Not Happy, background abemiha, background hamaizu, oofuri prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 06:48:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4381514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icymuze/pseuds/icymuze, https://archiveofourown.org/users/pasty/pseuds/pasty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanai and Tajima are older;Hanai already has a wife and kids, but Tajima still isn't over Hanai</p>
            </blockquote>





	an ache i still remember

Tajima gets the invitation while he’s on the road, opening it up in the hotel lobby. The stationary is simple, but it’s beautiful and elegant. Inside, a cream colored card with simple black typography invites Tajima to attend Izumi and Hamada’s wedding ceremony. Reading the invitation was exciting; he had known those two had been dancing around each other since high school. Fifteen years later, they were finally making it official. 

He didn’t even have to think before filling out ‘yes’ on the RSVP form. The next question asked if he had a plus one, and that threw him off a little bit. He wasn’t dating anyone; had hadn’t really been serious about dating anyone for a long time. Tajima travelled a lot, which put quite a bit of strain on relationships; he also had to keep his relationships fairly secret from the media. If it was a girl he dated, the press would harass her constantly; if it was a guy he dated, well… He wasn’t exactly ‘out’ to anyone beyond his close friends. 

He could bring along a friend, someone from the team, maybe; in the end, Tajima checked ‘no’ on the plus one part. These were old friends, people he grew up with. Bringing in anyone new that didn’t have potential to join their little family felt sacrilege; besides, two famous baseball players showing up was probably more than enough. 

The next few weeks, Tajima found himself more and more excited about the wedding. He hadn’t seen Mihashi since the series they played against each other a few months back; that had barely counted, seeing as there wasn’t a whole lot of opportunity to just hang out. Abe had stopped by briefly as well, keeping up with Tajima and getting some stuff for his little brother. It had been over a year since he had really seen Sakaeguchi, Suyama, or Oki. Nishihiro and Mizutani went to the same university as Tajima, but after that they had seemed to split ways. 

Tajima could remember all too clearly the last time he saw Hanai. 

\-------------

_“Are you ever going to grow up?”_

_“I don’t know, are you ever going to act like you aren't a hundred years old?”_

_“Dammit, Tajima, stop avoiding this! You have to stop and think about the future once in a while!”_

_“Why? Why can’t we just-”_

_“You know why!”_

\-------------

Tajima wonders if Izumi and Hamada planned it to be on a day when neither he nor Mihashi had games. He’s able to fly out for an entire weekend, arriving Thursday night, to a beautiful resort in the countryside. The wedding is small enough that most of the people attending can stay at the resort and nearby b&bs. When he gets there, he sees Izumi and Hamada almost immediately, but he can’t chat with them for long- they’re both frazzled with trying to coordinate everything. They both apologize and Tajima just laughs, letting them handle everything. They all promise to talk a lot during and after the wedding. 

Tajima finds out that he’s next to Mihashi and Abe’s room almost immediately, and he spends nearly three hours talking about baseball and games and teammates with the two of them. The next person he finds is Momoe, and he ends up talking with her for the rest of the night. They go drinking with Abe and Mihashi and the four of them reminisce about the games they all played together fifteen years previously. 

“So, Tajima, have you found someone to tie you down yet? Any plus ones?” Momoe is winking, downing the last of her beer. 

Tajima laughs, waving his hand. “Come on now, don’t you think you’d hear about it in the news? I’m still a famously single ball player.” He sipped at the local brew he had ordered; it was a little too nutty for his taste. “To be honest, though? I’m still getting over a bad breakup.” 

Momoe smiled, understanding. “Well, you know what they say. Time heals everything, right?” 

Tajima just smiles and nods, downing the last of his drink and changing the conversation topic. 

\-------------

_“What’s all this?”_

_“... I’m moving out, Tajima. I’m leaving you. I can’t pretend I’m still nineteen. I want a family, I want to settle down. I want- I want more than this, okay?”_

_“This is- just because of the fight? Hanai, it was- I just wasn’t ready last night, I didn’t mean-”_

_“This has been brewing for a while, hasn’t it? Besides, you’re going to be a professional player soon. You’re going to travel all the time, the media is going to be all over you -it already is. This is for the best.”_

_“I… I know.”_

\-------------

The wedding is beautiful. It’s small and intimate; there’s no officiator, just Izumi and Hamada declaring their love for each other. Izumi’s daughter was the flower girl, and the only groomsmen were the couple’s brothers. The vows are heartfelt and genuine, and Tajima doesn’t see a single set of dry eyes. Everyone is hugging and cheering and crying; they throw paper confetti as the couple walks back down the aisle.

The reception is in the same building, decorated in soft creams and off-whites. There’s a string quartet while everyone eats, but they’re replaced by a DJ once the dancing really starts. At that point, enough people have had a few drinks to really start dancing and having fun, and Tajima definitely joins them for a few hours. He dances with Mihashi first, roping him into a silly line dance; the entire old Nishiura team ends up doing a few numbers together. Once a slower, couple-y song starts, Tajima ducks out, heading to the bar. 

“Tajima? You can’t keep avoiding me, you know.” 

Tajima freezes at first, but he puts on his cool face and turns around, holding a cold bottle of water. “Hanai! Who said I was avoiding you? You weren’t at my dinner table.” 

The old teammate pushes up his glasses and shrugs. “Yeah, my wife and I were with Mizutani and Shinooka. Did you know Shinooka is pregnant?” 

Tajima smiles and nods. “Yeah, pretty incredible, huh? So many of us ended up with these storybook romances.” The ‘not us’ hangs in the air, heavy. 

Hanai sighs, running a hand through his hair. “Look, Tajima-”

“Hey, Oki!” Tajima shoves past Hanai and runs off, ignoring the taller man. 

\-------------

_“... Don’t go. Please.”_

_“You know this is the right thing.”_

_“Is it? Can’t we- every relationship has its ups and downs, who says we’re done?”_

_“I do, Tajima. I say we’re done.”_

_“Please-”_

\-------------

The night goes on, and every time Hanai tries to talk to Tajima, he manages to avoid him and find someone else to distract himself with. Hanai might have a wife and kids, he might be perfect and gorgeous and his grown out hair might be really soft looking, but Tajima was not drunk enough to want to talk to him, and he didn’t plan on getting near that point. Ever. 

Midnight rolls around, and the reception comes to a close; no one is really dancing anymore and several people have already retired to their rooms. Tajima does a couple more dances with Izumi’s daughter before heading out himself, stepping into the cool night. His plan is to take a quick walk before going upstairs and crashing; he has a long flight the next day and he wants to enjoy being outside and seeing the stars. 

“Tajima!” 

Hanai is there again, and this time, there’s no one for Tajima to run off to. He grits his teeth and turns around, looking up at the other man. “What’s up?”

“Look, I- I just wanted to talk to you again. You were my best friend for years, and I know we ended on a bad note, okay? I just wanted to talk to you again. We can still be friends.” 

“You didn’t seem to want to talk the last few times I tried.”

“Come on, that was- you know it was right after everything. I was healing just as much as you were.” 

“Really? Were you? Because you seemed pretty damn content when you broke things off.” Tajima grits his teeth; he’s not going to cry. “Never forget that, okay? You were the one who ended it all, who moved out and across the country, who ripped my heart in half.” 

“Well, excuse me! I could never keep up with you, Tajima, you were always bouncing around and trying a hundred new things and I just wanted to keep a little part of you to myself! I was never asking you to change, I was asking you to stay!” 

“You were asking me to 'stay!?' I was twenty-two, you were asking me to do something I was terrified of! I had never entertained the idea of getting married, of being with someone forever. And you asked me, and I was scared, and then I thought about it and I came back to tell you yes, but you were all packed up and then you were gone!” 

Hanai freezes, then looks like he’s about to say something. 

“No, no, you don’t get to apologize now, eleven years later. Okay? I- after you left, I was empty, I felt like I had lost everything. But I picked myself up and I kept living. And, and so did you, and I don’t fault you for it. Your wife is- she’s beautiful, and everyone always talks about how kind and funny she is, and I’m happy for you, okay? I’m happy you got everything you ever wanted. I just… You can’t expect me to be your friend again.” Tajima is crying, despite his best efforts; he wasn’t sure when the tears started, but he knows his face is shiny and wet. “We were never just friends. I… I never got over you, okay? Some people move on, some don’t.” He rubbed at his face and shook his head. “I can’t do this. The friends thing. I can’t. I have to have some self-preservation.” 

Tajima walks away, heading into his room and falling asleep almost immediately. 

The next morning, he wakes up and there’s a note slipped under his door. 

_You deserve to be happy. That’s all I ever wanted to say._

**Author's Note:**

> [check out the blog here!](http://oofuriprompts.tumblr.com/)
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> this was kind of sad wow but i had fun writing it
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> here's a [playlist](http://8tracks.com/icymuze/this-playlist-is-a-mistake) to listen to while you read! it was what I listened to while writing i teared up a lil oops
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> prompt is from anonymous
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> title is from gotye's 'somebody that i used to know'


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